So, you might have noticed my absence on here over the last month or so and for that I apologise. At the start of February I lost my Grandfather, a man who I loved dearly and held a special place in my heart.
Death is one of those taboo subjects you're supposed to just let go of, not dwell on and in some ways 'get over' and I just wanted to address the fact that sometimes it's ok not to be ok. I know my blog posts are often more light hearted, talking about the latest lipstick or shoes I'm obsessed with but I find sometimes my #tuesdaychats are often some of my most popular posts. So lets get real!
A month ago today my Grandad passed away in the night, an unexpected death that left myself and my family not only grieving his loss but with that gut wrenching shock that I cannot describe. My Grandfather was the sort of man who would be there by your side through thick and thin and make you laugh with inappropriate jokes. I have distinct memories of playing the piano with him as a child, baking cakes and more recently him driving for 740 miles in a day to pick me up when I was ill at Uni. A hero right?
But, I wanted to talk about grief today. Death is something that at some point we will all experience, that feeling of still loving someone but never being able to tell them again, that emptiness that can never be filled and those tears that fall when you see something that evokes emotion. But, yet most of us expect ourselves to be able to move on. I have dealt with one other major death in my life and that was my Nan (who I have mentioned before).
From that experience when I was just 11 I learned that you never ever stop missing someone when they held such a unique place in your heart, 10 years on you will probably still well up but you learn to live your life.
We all deal with stress, grief and hard times differently, some of us will go to the pub and drown our sorrows, some of us will scream and cry into a pillow and others will bottle it up and be the seemingly 'strong one' but none of these are wrong. Although grieving is about missing another person/pet or role model the process is actually about you. It is ok to cry, it's even ok not to but all you must remember is it'll get easier.
For me, moving on and coping is about making those people proud. There would be nothing my Grandparents would want less than me moping about in my onesie crying, but going out taking opportunities and enjoying my life because it is true what they say it is short!
So, if you're currently grieving and feel as though there is no way out of the dark tunnel and heavy heart then remember that you'll always love them, their memories will never fade and that life will get easier. Time heals but doesn't erase and that is key when it comes to missing people. You'll latch on to their memories, you'll talk to them in spirit but let's all make the ones who have gone proud.
Labels: grandad, grief, ok not to be ok, sorry, tuesdaychat